apathy.

It's now been officially two working days since I had my internal job interview at SAGE. It is now VERY unlikely that I've passed the first stage. More likely that I'll hear back in a few days' time with a 'thank you but...' in which case I have to continue with my 'alternative' plan.

Keep trying to find things which will convince me to change my mind and not go through with it, but there is nothing. I seem to be swamped in bad luck. What's the point in even trying anymore?

I've been so nervous about what I have to do that I've had a dodgy stomach for over a week. Anyone else (a rational, sane person that is) would have decided not to go through with it, and chose to stubbornly cling to life. I cannot do this. I'm too tired to try these days, it seems.